


The Road To Hell And All That

by Katzedecimal



Series: The Kitchen God's Strife [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: A Bit Not Good, Breakfast, Brotherhood, Eggs, Gen, Good Intentions, Squick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-08
Updated: 2012-09-08
Packaged: 2017-11-13 20:21:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/507365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katzedecimal/pseuds/Katzedecimal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock tries to do something nice to surprise John.  John's surprised, alright.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Road To Hell And All That

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Talimenios](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talimenios/gifts).
  * Translation into Français available: [La Route de l'enfer et tout ça](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1694741) by [FroggyBangBang](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FroggyBangBang/pseuds/FroggyBangBang)



> This isn't what Talimenios asked for but it should tide over until I finish one of the others ^_^;;;

[8:13 Mycroft Holmes:] I need to speak with you. I will send the car. Where are you?

[8:13 SH:] In the dog house.

[8:13 Mycroft Holmes:] A disagreement with the good doctor?

[8:14 SH:] It wasn't my fault.  
[8:14 SH:] It wasn't deliberate.

[8:14 Mycroft Holmes:] What happened?

[8:15 SH:] I made breakfast for John.

[8:15 Mycroft Holmes:] Alright. 

[8:15 SH:] I wanted to surprise him.  
[8:16 SH:] Got that part right.  
[8:16 SH:] Not the way I wanted to, though.

[8:17 Mycroft Holmes:] What happened, Sherlock?

[8:17 SH:] I bought farm eggs.  
[8:17 SH:] I thought they'd be fresher than shop eggs.  
[8:18 SH:] And taste better.

[8:18 Mycroft Holmes:] Not as fresh as you had hoped, perhaps?

[8:19 SH:] Not hardly.

[8:19 Mycroft Holmes:] I sympathise. What were you making with them?

[8:20 SH:] John likes soft-boiled eggs with toast soldiers sometimes. 

[8:20 Mycroft Holmes:] Oh dear. Here I was thinking you discovered the problem by cracking one. Soft-boiled spoiled egg is truly odious.

[8:21 SH:] They weren't spoiled.

[8:21 Mycroft Holmes:] They weren't? But they weren't fresh?

[8:22 SH:] Not at all. My guess is nine days, possibly ten. 

[8:22 Mycroft Holmes:] Oh NO! They weren't balut, were they?

[8:23 SH:] I'm not wholly familiar with the gestation of the domesticated chicken.

[8:23 Mycroft Holmes:] Oh no, Sherlock

[8:24 SH:] I had no idea, did I? How was I to know I'd need to candle the eggs prior to cooking them?  
[8:24 SH:] I had it all laid out for him

[8:25 Mycroft Holmes:] And then he cracked open his egg?

[8:25 SH:] He was certainly surprised.  
[8:25 SH:] I had the yolk perfect, though.  
[8:26 SH:] Unfortunately.

[8:26 Mycroft Holmes:] You have the worst luck in the kitchen of anyone I know.

[8:27 SH:] I mentioned that balut eggs are a popular snack in the Phillipines.  
[8:27 SH:] I meant it as a joke.  
[8:28 SH:] Now he thinks I did it deliberately.  
[8:28 SH:] Then one of the ones in the pot sort of  
[8:29 SH:] Exploded

[8:29 Mycroft Holmes:] Oh no

[8:30 SH:] That one was spoiled

[8:30 Mycroft Holmes:] It was spoiled instead of balut?

[8:31 SH:] It was spoiled AND balut.

[8:31 Mycroft Holmes:] Oh NO

[8:32 SH:] How was I to know?  
[8:32 SH:] I opened the windows but he still yelled at me.  
[8:33 SH:] Then Mrs. Hudson came up  
[8:33 SH:] She started yelling at me too.

[8:34 Mycroft Holmes:] can't breathe

[8:34 SH:] Yes, that's what she said.  
[8:35 SH:] They told me I wasn't to perform any more experiments with gestating land fowl.  
[8:35 SH:] I told them it wasn't an experiment, it was breakfast.  
[8:35 SH:] They said I was twisted and chased me out.

[8:36 Mycroft Holmes:] Where are you?

[8:36 SH:] I just wanted to surprise him  
[8:37 SH:] He's always saying I never do anything around the flat  
[8:37 SH:] I just wanted to make breakfast for him. 

[8:38 Mycroft Holmes:] I know.  
[8:38 Mycroft Holmes:] The car will pick you up shortly. I'll treat you to brunch. God knows you deserve it after that.

[8:39 SH:] Alright.


End file.
